Introducing our hero.

He'd been banging his head against the problem all morning but thought he'd maybe, finally, at bloody last found the solution. The package he'd made kept falling over during the install and despite numerous little changes nothing seemed to fix it. Slight alteration; install; failure; uninstall; repeat ad nausea. He often quipped that IT work was 95% waiting watching little bars slowly cross screens but he only joked about it as otherwise the truth in the statement would make him cry.

Still, finally the solution was found! Well, hopefully found. He just had to wait for this little bar to make it's agonisingly slow passage across the screen again and he'd know if he could finally get out of this school and grab some much delayed lunch. In the meantime he may as well kill time by checking his feeds.

Turning to face the screen of the next PC a slight smile appeared ever so briefly. The welcoming sight of Google Reader sitting waiting to relieve his boredom vanished as the screensaver popped up. Internally cursing he made a quick grab for the mouse hoping to bring the screen back to life before it locked. However it was the screensaver that saved his life.

The screen turning black allowed him to clearly see the figure reflected upon it. The figure who had stealthily entered the room and was currently aiming a silenced pistol at the back of his head. As soon as the sight registers instinct takes over. He pushes hard against the desk causing his chair to tip over backwards. Feels the wind of a bullets passage against his face as it travels to where his head had been a fraction of a second before. The fall turns into a backwards roll as the chair crashes to the ground. His feet find purchase on the carpet but instead of standing he continues the roll then, with a thrust of his legs, launches himself backwards across the room at the assailant.

He feels the shock of compression in his neck as he collides head first with the unknown enemy's groin. He quickly rolls to the side and up to his feet as the attacker staggers backwards, hunches over and vomits copiously, gun dangling uselessly from one hand while the other clutches his battered manhood. Seizing the opportunity afford by his opponents temporary incapacitation our hero grabs the nearest weapon to hand, a Microsoft multimedia keyboard, pauses to pic the perfect moment then with a mighty swing bats the tenderized attacker right in the face. A spray of blood, teeth and keys fly through the air before the man falls down unconscious into the fresh pool of his own puke. Say what you like about Microsoft's various evils but they do build a sturdy peripheral.

The victor, takes a moment to catch his breath, then looks towards the computer as it beeps. Installation complete. “Well Davey” he says quietly to himself as he bends down to relieve the fallen man of his weapon and spare ammunition. “One problem solved.” He slides out the magazine, examines the number of shots and slides it back. “On to the next”. This time the grin stays on his face as David Benson, IT Technician and all-round problem-solver strides from the room.